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She's Here!

Welcoming home Paige Zoe Lanier!!

After 50 hours of labor and delivery, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on February 23, 2017, at 7:11 am weighing in at 7lbs. 14 oz. 19.5 inches long.

My pregnancy was an interesting one and I haven't written anything for over a month because this past month was even more interesting. My spouse and I have been going through spiritual counseling for the past two-three months. Really trying to get our shit together because our daughter came into this world. We will continue counseling for the time being because life is all about progress. I feel we are on the same page as far as what each other needs from the other. I also feel we understand that we have our differences and it is important to be kind and understanding when it comes to our many differences. There is so much power in working towards a lifetime with someone.

Everything happens for a reason! Due to this, I will be working on my book and getting it complete by April 1st. I just want to put out into the universe because it has been on hold for almost a year.

Now back to my babygirl, below are current photos of all three of us. Being a first-time mom is exhausted but it is only day 9 right now. Shit, even pregnancy was exhausting for me. We feel blessed to have our baby girl home with us. It still don't feel real at times. I am a mother.

Paige has given both of us the drive to push forward with our dreams and desires so we can create a happy and abundant environment for her and ourselves.

So please enjoy the photos below. Stay tuned to my book coming out within the next three months. And please come back for the next post.


End Your Cycle and Heal From The Past

Hello Love,

Happy New Year!

It has been few weeks since I last blogged. I've been going through a lot of ups and downs within my life. One thing I pride myself on is that I am not afraid to share my story, my mistakes, and hardships with you. I can't bare to preach if I have never lived it.

I am perfectly me, which means I have flaws and all. I see the lessons and beauty in all life's situations. That doesn't mean it sucks. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It does mean you are meant to learn from everything you experience. I am a firm believer that everything that occurs is happening for a reason and on purpose.

 Let’s talk cycles. “We Repeat What We Don’t Fix.” 

 Have you noticed in your life that situations continuously keep happening over and over again. Maybe you keep attracting men who are abusive or your money is always unstable or you keep going to jail over and over again for similar crimes.

When you stop and become conscious of what is happening to you and why it is happening to you, it is then when you start to understand that you are full control of your life. You are meant to learn something and take some form of responsibility for all that is happening to you. Then you can start to peel the layers of your life onion.

We are spiritual beings, having a human experience. You are down here on earth to learn lessons and become your higher self. Some people are believers and others aren’t. That is okay. This can still be applied to those who aren’t spiritual. Let me break this down to you in the most logical way possible.

Example: You keep attracting men or a man who continuously cheat or betray you in other ways. 

Lesson: You have betrayed yourself. You have not put yourself first over and over again.

Solution: You must value yourself. You must love yourself first. You have to stop giving away your power. You must listen to your intuition instead of fear.

Man was that difficult for me to figure out. However, when I allowed myself to recognize the cycle I was in and understand why I was continuously going through the cycle. I decided to end the cycle. It’s your responsibility to not accept what is done to you.

You must stick up for yourself and stop playing victim. Victim sounds like this, “why do you keep doing this to me over and over again?”. It is no one else's fault but your own that you allow someone to keep doing something to you over and over again. When I figured that out for myself then I set a boundary.

You may play victim by also avoiding confrontation for the sake of him not leaving, you may let the man dictate what should be done or not be done, you may lie to yourself and live in illusion by allowing the bullshit to continue.

When we become conscious of why we do what we do we then can face it head on and fix it. Are we bending so much because we fear being alone, breaking up our family, or we don't feel we are enough? Whatever the reason is, it is nothing to be ashamed of. Acknowledge your fears and insecurities. We all have them whether we'd like to admit it or not.

Take a listen to this motivational video and it was very similar to the session I had with my spiritual guide. She told me that I am to never give my power away to anyone ever again. Whether that be a man (husband, father of my child, or boyfriend), family member, parent, or friend.


Recommendations to help you break your cycle: 

  • Become aware of your cycle. 
  • Being brave enough to walk away. 
  • Accept responsibility for what you keep allowing to happen to you. 
  • Take the time to heal yourself and take back your power. 
  • Find balance within yourself. 
  • Find balance within your environment. 
  • Make a conscious decision who can stay around you and who can be with you. 
  • Set boundaries for the present and future. 
  • Take ME time! 
  • Be selfish in a loving way. 
  • Act without seeking validation from others.
  • Practice mindfulness.
I will end this post with a quote from Marianne Williamson...

16 Ways To Love Yourself

I wrote this article in the spirit of my new course called I Am Love. Loving yourself should be a natural thing for everyone to do. However, if you are a people pleaser and over-giver like I use to be then it didn't come too natural to you.

I was having a conversation with my love last night about this very topic. I started to really love myself and care for myself since my deep depression. Now, when people come at me with very negative or selfish energy I remove myself.

Now, I care too much about my sanity, my health, my mindset, and my energy to allow anyone to take that from me. I finally figured out how to balance pleasing and giving to my loved one's without taking from myself.

You can do the same thing.

How to keep your cool in the midst of chaos?

Hello Love,

I am back! Last week was a very hectic week for me. I had a conference that I had a huge part of for work. I had to prepare and register 366 people for this conference. So as you could imagine my life has been a bit stressful for the past three weeks. I was not the only one on my team stressed. My co-worker expressed to me several times this past week that she has been overwhelmed for weeks as well.

For the past months, I have been preparing for my first child. I am due in February of 2017. I ordered her 3-in-1 crib and spent around $400 on clothes and shoes for her from newborn to 12 months in the past three weeks. We have some family friends who are going to make me a basket of clothes and toys from their daughters as well. A lot of clothes they have still have tags on them. This made me stop buying clothing because I am not sure how slow or fast my daughter will grow. I don't want to waste any money.

How to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem can lead down a dangerous road in life. You will witness yourself in crazy circumstances. You will place yourself around people who don't know your self-worth. You will do things that you wouldn't necessarily do if you was confident in who you are.

I know this from experience as well as witnessing everyone else around me. Also, by observing everyone in the media. People in the media bleed low self-esteem. Do you truly think they are happy because they got a tummy tuck and butt implants?

Think about it.

What happens when that flat stomach starts to get bigger again because they aren't working out? What is the immediate feeling or thoughts that come to their mind?